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June 20th, 2004

The Eternal Damnation of the One-Track Mind @ 10:44 pm

It's been a year and a half.... I've been single all this time, and it's because I can't get over her. The first week that we met became a template for what a relationship with her would be like... she did things that would make my trust in her falter, though innocent enough; free of malice. I knew I'd spend less time with her than time thinking about what she was doing when away from me.

And we weren't right for each other... I have no illusions about that. In fact, we were pristinely wrong for each other... from the start there were little beacons here and there telling me something I wouldn't learn without hindsight. The first week we knew each other was the best... but even then, Coldplay's "Warning Signs" was the song we both ended up remembering from the night she stayed at my apartment.

I wish I was over her, but I'm not. I'm not sure that I still love her. I know I wouldn't go out with her again. I don't miss the constant arguing and fighting over stupid miniscule crap...

but I do miss how, for a time, she made me feel luckier than how I thought I was.
 
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Of course we're nowhere.